Nomo--
I hope that you found the Mouse and his friends ok--have a GREAT week with the kiddos! Keeping that focus will be great for you.

You know that your W is still thinking things through--she is still in counseling, which is a huge thing that I believe that all WASs need. Getting back to time and space seems to be the way to go, and I agree that letting her know about the change in you is important. I have told H that I am on the same path as he has been on; he is only a little farther up ahead. But that all of the things that he has gone through are things that I am going through, and he knows full well how things feel for him at the moment. I am afraid that I will reach that point before he comes to a new and/or different understanding.

I do empathize with your recent changes--I went through a lot with our DB weekend together, and the following week. The crying and desperation has stopped. I have accepted that I cannot control his ideas, thoughts or actions, and that these are his choices to make. I can accept them even if I don't agree with them.

I let go. I can feel it. And it is a scary idea for me, since I have had to do this before with my sister. It's a long story, but after my mom died, sis decided that having R and loving anyone was just too hard when they could suddenly leave or die, so she broke away from me, as well as everyone else in the family. I was sad, but I let her go the day she told me. I said that I didn't want to be the one who caused her pain--I only wanted her to find happiness, somewhere in this world. And I let her know that she would always have a sister, somewhere out there, who loved her and would welcome her home, no matter how much time slipped by.

That was 3 years ago. I haven't seen or heard from her since.

But this is the risk that we have to take. I just told H yesterday that it is a shame; it didn't have to be this way. He answered yeah, but it is. So, it is.

Moving forward with ya, big man. Hope you can drop by my thread and see what's been up. I am finally getting my out-of-control emotions in check.

I can't remember; were you up for a fall leaf-peeping tour of CT sometime in Oct?