Bout time I dropped back in for an update. The flu realy got me down and I am still suffering some lingering effects. I havnt been sick like that for years and the fact that it coincided with an attack from W meant some very dark moments. After our confrontation I just withdrew , looked after the kids , slept and avoided contact with W. W had a couple of days at home with Kids while I was away and she was much calmer when I got back. There has been no more talk of settlements or lawyers so thats good. Now I have had time to think things through me changing our room scared her. Her fear surfaced as anger and there it started. So I changed the room back , too which I got an angry letter with more of the same. I talked to her by phone and told her that I changed it back so that she would be comfortable when she came to stay while I was away. This handed her back some control and its calmed her. Lesson learned for me in that if I start to move on its going to hurt her and she will respond. I actualy see this as positive , my take at the moment is that W is asking for lots of space and also with no guarantees wants me to be patient with her. I got a txt message from her that stated " I am the one who is lost "
So its back to being patient , I know I can push things along but its too early yet. Doing anything right now will not get me closer to my goal. Oh yeah when she left with D tonight I got a gentle hug and kiss. Now I have to be carefull not to scare the bird away again.
Perhaps I am wrong , but I have time and importantly time with my kids.
