When do we stop looking through the affair glasses

[mkultra]

I saw a woman on Oprah talk about how she forgave her H after he slept with her best friend! They had an ongoing affair in her own bed! Unbelievable. She said she saw him eating alone in a MacDonald's parking lot on a Saturday morning in his little car while she was with all her friends and their kids. She decided to take him back. The counselor mentioned not to view spouses as victims or LBS as martyrs, etc. When I get a trigger I imagine that pathetic soul eating Saturday morning breakfast all alone in his car. Try not to picture sex, or playing, flirting or phone calls. I know that is almost impossible. Focus on the patheticness of the sitch. Beauty, sexuality, laughter, all that new stuff fades, but Saturday morning family breakfasts with the kids last a lifetime.