Nomopo's Thread - Is something happening to me?

[Puddle]

Hey Nomopo!

When we have a history, and esp. a family, with someone, it's an every day choice for us to make that decision/that willingness to compromise

This is a great reminder. Sometimes I wonder how much endurance I really have, and I guess I'm learning a lot about that now.

Puddle - we are becoming pretty good friends, huh?

Right back atcha.

One positive about the change in feelings is I feel MUCH more detached on the OM issue... This is good because I burned way too much energy on the OM issue for a long time.

I'm so glad for you. I'm about 100 steps behind you there, though I'm not obsessive. I think one really useful thing for me has been also having had a crush on someone and realizing even then that it had very little to do with that person, but everything to do with what I was missing in my R with DH. This knowledge (and empathy) helps me keep the focus off OW. I don't know why some people come to that conclusion while others see only stars in their eyes.

Detachment has been the hardest thing for me to understand. I think you can't control it, and you can't understand it until it has happened.

Oh gawd, I hate these hard-to-understand things. I understand what it is, but the how-to-get-there part that isn't about "getting" it drives me nuts. Too much thinking? Probably.

Even if we were to turn things around right now, there is plenty to mourn. We have lost a lot already.

I'm with you on that. When I think about the list of things there are to work on in my M, then add to it the body blow my trust in and respect for DH has taken, it can be overwhelming.

In fact, there was lots about our M to mourn when she dropped the bomb; I just didn't know it.

Here's hoping, for you and everyone here, that we all get to turn that around.

Maybe I can think less over the next few weeks. I'll be curious where things stand by October 1.

I'll be interested to hear how that goes, and your secret if it works! I hope you're having a wonderfully relaxing and fun time with your kids.

As long as you are focused on YOU and what YOU want and acting on those things instead of fear or W or whatever, there are no wrong actions. We must be true to ourselves in the end.

Thanks, SD, for putting it so succinctly. I don't know how long I'll have to do this consciously, but I'm hoping for the day it feels more real.

Take care, Nomopo.