vacation is over, I am leaving

[limbo]

i did something tonight which is against dbing, but to be honest I don't think I care that much anymore.
H told me the other day that ow and her h were seperating in Oct, so I asked him was he really only here until she is free and then he is going to leave then, he said no, he is here to stay.
I then asked him why on Wed did he say that he couldn't stay here, because he didn't want to, and after going for a walk he then changed his mind, he said because he thought of the kids.
So i said it had nothing to do with me then, just the kids.
He said no, because of me to. that he does love me.

But you know what, I don't buy this, I think he is just biding his time and will go when she is free...so now i think I need to put some planning into place, and make sure that the kids and I are protected.
I also told him that I want to be happy, and I can do that with or with out him, and that I deserve to be with someone who is going to love me and if he can't do that he should leave.
I have just had enough, I am taking the control back of my life, this has been going on for almost a year now, living on this roller coaster and I am done, I just want a life that I have some say in, and that i am in control of. I refuse to be a door mat anymore!