Okay, I thought about it and I changed my mind. You do have to self-validate but once you self-validate others will give you confirmation which might superficially seem exactly like other-validation but it isn't because you already self-validated. The "other" is just mirroring back what you are already projecting. This is so clear to me when I think about my bizarro dating experiences over the last 5 months. However, maybe there's just a little room for seeking other-validation within the realm of curiosity. Like I put my dating portrait up on the internet and I was curious to see what kind of response I might get but not quite confident that I would get a good response. Maybe if you are just curious about the reaction or response you might get from others that is okay because you are just seeking information rather than validation because you really just want to know if the jeans make you look fat and you're really not looking for someone to validate that they don't.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
