I read DB seven years ago and I read it numerous times. I know what it is.
MLC is MLC. (When I need to read about MLC, I read Conway.) DB is DB.
And if you read Michele, the principles of DB apply in any situations, MLC being one of them. DB tell you that you can't do anything about what someone else is doing and to do what you control. She tells us to take care of the things we can control. This applies when there is an MLC spouse. We also get techniques. If someone is in MLC, we know DB tells us they have to go through it. But we also know that it tells us how to cope. You can have DBing without MLC or with MLC.
You said:
Quote:
If someone is on medication for being bi-polar, or has an independently verifiable history of acutue mental illness is that an LBS delusion?
I never said there were not OM/OW who didn't suffer from mental illness. But if you are going to suggest high number of OW/OM are suffering mental illness, I want to see the numbers. And I know quite a few people from this board who take meds, so it isn't only OM/OW and spouses who have mental illnesses. But of one thing I am sure, I don't know anyone on this board who can make a schizophrenia or bi-polar diagnosis.
Quote:
Even people who are paranoid are sometimes right!
Yes. Sometimes.
But to suggest that you can't DB because of MLC is wrong. People can and do go through mlc w/o blowing up peoples lives around them. On this board they label it mlc because they have to give that horrible behavior a name. This is not to say there is no MLC. But the notion that people are not responsible for their bad behavior in the name of MLC is a cop out. The proponents of MLC are actually giving them the excuse you said it was before you believed in it. And then you blame the OM/OW.
Yes, there is MLC. No, not every case is MLC.
Now, as you say, I am willing to listen to well-reasoned arguments. I have challenged a number of assertions in my days coming to this board (and could challenge many more). I have done it with facts, figures, and references. I have also done it with a dictionary. I can never figure out why my challenges. All I can figure is it doesn't fit the story that the MLC team here wants to write.
I am all about getting the right message out. Because when bogus claims are made, it lessens everyone's ability to find the right solution.
