Now, after dragging myself out of the mire he blithely flung me into, doing the 180's, the GALing, building my PMA, I realise I am a wonderful person and his needy, pathetic fantasy is not my fault.
I'm so glad you've reached that point. My DH doesn't blame me at all, which means he believes that nothing I might do would make any difference. That's a hard place for me to be. And he doesn't blame himself, either, that I know of. Without either of us having any responsibility for being here, as he sees it, there's nothing to do. He says, "Hey, we've tried for a long time, and there's just nothing there. Oh well." (my paraphrase)
Originally Posted By: bar
Of course I have huge waves of doubt all the time and at these times I can hardly stomach the disappointment. It can be excruciating and so it takes a while and a lot of courage to calm myself.
I feel the same sometimes, usually, in fact. I haven't figured out how to forgive him yet for not being willing to move the earth to be sure there's no hope. I sometimes think that's what he's crying about---the sheer hopelessness of it all (in his view).
I just noticed he's taken off his ring. I cried in the bathroom for a minute, gave myself a big hug, and figure it's just one more thing. I know there will be more to come.
