Klm, I am so glad you are back and being in a wedding is the worst right now. Money wise too! There was a wedding party coming through the security when we were leaving the courthouse and I almost lost it again... I can't even watch romance movies still!
Glad you told your friend. You might not have told because this seems like a failure thing. Believe me, after 3 times of this for me you find out who your friends are... Maybe a rain check for later date when you will be looking for support and a change to go visit. We need things to look forward to. How did it go with your family? Sometimes in the begining it seems like you are going thru the motions when everyone is enjoying themselves.
Do not give up. On the plus side it is so early. That 100% talk is testing the waters. I swear they have to practice saying it out loud. I also noticed that your H is almost 30, which although I never take much about the age thing he may be in that mid life stuff too, 30 is a big milestone for some guys. What does the T say about the service thing that he returned from? Does that have anything to do with it? I also will tell you from my vast years of experience ( smile) that they want to make you the bad person by setting us up to say no or challenging the things they want to do. Like the financial side. They see us as the ones that are holding them back from doing what they want or being happy. They have no good memories, everything was bad. Which is nuts. Things are not going to happen that fast. Just be pleasant and try not to get angry arround him. Do as I say, not as I do....
My H did not look that good...which I should not take pleasure in but helped me as I know he is not that happy in his 2 room apt. He showed up in a pair of old jeans and a washed out summer shirt. He is a professional and 28 years with me he dresses well and has always looked a lot younger than he is. This is not him, he worrys about how he dresses. More proof he is not socially doing well which T tells me has been my forte with him all these years, I know what to do and what to wear! He looked bad. His eyebrows looked like Andy Rooneys! I know he just had a haircut ( out here in suburbs, 50 miles round trip on Wed night, can't give up his hair d and salon) and I used to say to him, have her trim those brows! He has aged and looked gray!I joked with a girlfriend and said I know there is no other woman for sure as she would have said trim those things! I try not to go there, but everyone tells me that is not him with the Ow. He did have tears in his eyes at one point at courthouse and despite all his anger I think there is still that one little bit I hang on to he may want to come back. I have to leave him alone now and let him see that this is what it is going to be like with out me. That is so hard as I like to have contact, good or bad. I have to hang on to that a little bit but prepare for it may happen. I will not be one of the ones that hold out hope after a divorce. We are to meet with a cooperative divorce lawyer on Aug 27th. I am getting my own attorney, I just am not going to tell him.
I may be nuts, but have not given up yet. I just have realized that I don't want him back if we are going to keep doing this. I will email you about my "dates" with the businessman 17 years older than me. He is pursuing me. I am not going to get involved with anyone, but as my friend said, there are like 10 guys at the health club who are just giving you space and waiting for you to decide about your marriage. I have enough going on. And I am hurting. Fear about the future, getting a job, can I keep the house, can I get health insurance, can I afford anything! Sigh...120 days is an eternity when you are just sitting, a panic after the filing. He has accused me of stalling, I hope to stall some more....
