There have been many discussions about OW on these boards, none of them very flattering, but one consistent factor that emerges is how many of them are actually mentally ill - by bi-polar, emotionally unstable, schizophrenic and so on.
This gets very tiring. Of course, an angry LBS is going to paint OM/OW in the most negative light possible. They may not exactly be thinking straight getting involved with someone who is married, but that doesn't make them mentally ill. It makes a convenient boogieman.
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I think they attract the MLCer, and are attracted to them. RCR talks about negative energy, and it does make sense. If you say 'The OW is crazy' it sounds like the angry wife, but truly, so many of them are extremely disturbed. And of course they so often play on this as the MLCer tries to break it off - suicide threats, and so forth.
I know of one OW who committed suicide. It had nothing to the with the MLCer who left his wife. And remember, the spouse presented themselves to the OM/OW as available for action. It is always easier to paint that person in a negative light. It is the spouse who made the decision to leave, pure and simple.
This stuff has nothing to do with Divorce Busting.
Now, here is something that is very true:
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If we stand for our marriage we can't accept reality
What is good is that it is something that we can control. One can stand and accept reality. Open your eyes and you can see the situation. But no one knows what the outcomes of any of these situations may be.
You can stand and DB. You can stand and accept reality. You can stand and have a spouse who is off with a sane person.
