thanks Sara for your thoughts and my deepest hopes in your reconnection.
Sadly, my H, will not attend. And I can say this without even asking. As I said, I believe he spewed out as soon as he was confronted with my knowing, "I will do anything". And by his recent moody, silent, depressive behavior, it was said because again he was caught.
I see a C, H occasionally sees an individual C, but as I said no MC. He refuses and I never pushed, because I believe pushing to see a MC is/was not the answer if he would be "dragged." When I say my spouse is silent, it means, when any R talk mentioned, he literally hangs his head, face goes into complete shutdown, eyes close. The weekends you mention sound wonderful and communication to me is critical, but i feel needs to be wanted together as a couple.
I should return to MLC and the depressive behavior boards, since I know this is a very huge component. How to distance and work on myself, when I feel as if our "piecing" looked so well from the outside, when I remained silent, but if we never had honesty, did we ever have a chance?
And I feel like I was only kidding myself, but so many actions on his part were so right, even without him being able to speak them.
If I had been stronger in setting boundaries would I still be living with an EA? How do you detach, distance myself from the EA and piece at the same time?
