Hi Klm, I am here and will email you tomorrow. You are doing very well. Do not give up, you are so early in this process and I would tell your therapist that you want to work on this on your side. The pattern of getting what they want and being nice or cooperative is so familar. And then breaking the rules or forget what they agreed to.... so familar. All I can say is try not to let him control you, don't change things like lunch time to please him, he knew the time you go. You can do this.
On my side we went to the courthouse self help center and filed jointly today. This was hard, the hardest thing but he was so angry and telling me this was all my fault that I really started to see that this might be the best thing for me is to get out of this. After all this and the therapy we went to, he still claims this is all because I have not worked and did not keep up the house. Too much. This is like groundhog day movie, back to where we were 4 years ago. I was emotional, and I did do some backpedaling as I sat outside the courthouse and told him that I really did not want to divorce and was he sure and was there any chance we could work this out. No, its all my fault and he is so angry, unbelievable really he is so mad. The reason we filed jointly is the therapist wants me to keep him away from the attorney as he is giving me a lot of our assets and he still thinks there is a chance in the 120 wait period he may want to come back. For the very first time I also see that this may be my decision, I may not want him back. Therapist has always told me that. He has always said that my H may never go through with it. But I can't live like this for the rest of my life, him withdrawing and controling me with that emotional abuse. I have put every bit of myself trying to get this to work. May be enough. I am ok, I had my crying. There is some relief in this, finally the other shoe dropped. Don't let my situation discourage anyone else. This is his 3rd move out, I have a wonderful solution based cognitive therapist I have seen every week for almost 4 years and been reading but not posting on this board for the same amount of time. You do not want them back in the state they are in, time and not giving up is always on all DBs side. If they come back before they are ready you will just do this all over again. AND believe me the pain after is almost worse.
