vacation is over, I am leaving

[limbo]

I had a bit of a melt down with H today...it was a rough day, h and I had been talking about taking a bike course and getting a couple of bikes, however today I told him that with the debt we have and the total uncertainty of our marriage that I don't think there should be any major purchases for about a year, until we are on sure grounds.
he got all pissy, and treated me like crap!
So later I went for a drive, he came with me, and so basically I laid it on the line, I said that I just don't think that I have much left in me to continue like this, and that he has to make a decision, what he wants.
We talked and he said he wants to stay, and he doesn't know why he goes back to her, "infatuation or something" I told him I am better then her, I am not talking like a scorned wife, but I am, he said I was.
He then said the knows he is a manic depressive, then said maybe he is making excuses, and I said that I thought he was, as its easier to put a label on it, instead of taking responsibility, I don't deny he has had depression, I also told him that he hasn't done everything he could to get better, which he agreed with.
I told him I know its hard, and he said he doesn't like talking to a C as it embarrassing, and hard to do.
We talked some more about our own immaturity and we need to now step up and act like adults.
So either this will push him back to her or he will stay, to be honest at this point I think I want to bring things to a head, and if he leaves, then he leaves, and if he stays then thats good.
I am just so very tired at this point, I think that I have lost alot of the fight, and what ever happens, happens.

Sorry this is so long...had to babble and get things out alittle bit!