Beginning to piece or something else?

[ediemarie]

Hi LT -

Good to see that you are still working at this - I give you credit. You have been through a lot!!

hmm...LT...it looks like there are some postives in your situation
1) No OW
2) he's willing to do things with you
3) He misses you when you're not together
4) He doesn't *like* the idea of you seeing someone else
5) he opens up to you and speaks about his feelings about "stuff"
I can see why you have hope.

But, there are some read flags flying around here, too:
1) Though he is your husband, you are having an intimate relationship with someone that you really don't have an R with. Are you comfortable with this? Based on your post, I don't think you are. The very fact that you have asked the question leads me to believe that you have a problem with this but think you have to do it to maintain any R with him. This is not healthy for you! YOU DESERVE THE COMMITMENT FROM HIM.

2) Are you OK with someone "trying you on for size"? I'll say it again, YOU DESERVE THE COMMITMENT FROM HIM.

3) Not only do you deserve the commitment, you deserve an explanation, an apology, a remorseful attitude, a plan for the future, common understanding of R goals, an actual date, him to buy you dinner - and that is just on Day 1 of him being back in your life. On Day 2 you deserve that and action behind his words.

Sweetie, don't sell yourself short. You deserve to be loved, not used and the red flags that are flying around are huge. I know that you want to ride this tide of hope and good times, but is that your ultimate goal? Is your ultimate goal to establish a loving marriage? Is this going to get you there?

I think there are many postive signs here and he may just come around soon enough. I don't think at this point there is anything wrong with you asking what his intentions are. As a matter of fact, you should probably do it sooner than later. How much more attached are you becoming by having this kind of relationship? You don't know where his head is at. I'm not saying to have a long drawn out conversation about your R or about the problems, necessarily, just ask him what his intentions with you are - isn't that what you would ask any other guy that was treating you like this?

I hope this helps. I don't mean to be harsh, it would just really suck if you got wound up in this only to be heartbroken again.

((((((((LT))))))))

Em