One thing to remember is that she has a responsibility here also.
Yes, you are responsible for some of the situation. However, she doesn't get a 'Free Pass' to leave. She made a commitment to you, to the family. Unless you were abusive she has no excuse for her attitude.
What has SHE done to help out with the finances? Could you downsize to a smaller home? Could she get a job?
I think you should let go of her for now, as DBing says to do. You just look at making the hard decisions about your house or other finances. DO whatever is needed and let HER perculate for a while in her own stuff. The more you move into a positive attitude, show a positive 'moving forward' 'can do' attitude and let her see you winning - without her.
