That's some story. I don't think I'd have the wherewithall to kick cac out of bed for not showering LOL! But I took GGB's suggestion yesterday and invited cac to join me in the shower last night, and that worked out well.
About the smoking, I would say that cac never realized how much it bothered me because I never told him. I didn't know how to tell him without hurting his feelings. I assumed it would hurt his feelings, but in reality it would have hurt them a lot less if I had been honest, instead of just rejecting his advances. Over the last few years we've had some honest talks about my feelings on the smoking issue and I think we're in a better place about it.
I suspect that I will see my drive increase if I persist. And you're right about youth -- it is often wasted on the young. I think I read on this BB that the brain is the most important sex organ in the body and that makes a lot of sense to me as I get older. I guess learning how to love in the PT language is like learning a foreign language -- the more immersed you are in it, the better and faster you learn it.
I agree that I need to stop worrying about cac. A recent thread (was it Corri's) about women who tend to parent their Hs really struck home. I need to stop parenting cac, stop worrying about his reaction to my feelings, just see him as an adult who is perfectly capable of dealing with his own feelings and reactions to mine. I am continuing to write my thoughts on the BB for that reason.
BTW, I wanted to tell you that I get a kick out of reading your British colloquialisms!
