A very very very important sideproduct of this is the power seems to have shifted almost immediately in our R. I mean she could still file for D tomorrow and mean it, but there was such a power imbalance that it was very frustrating for me, enabled her to do nothing, and was generally unhealthy. As my C explained, whenever one person in a two-person R is the high desire person (for anything - sex, to work on the M, to save the M, to go to the zoo), the other, lower desire person has the power (whether they want it or not) because they have to agree.
This is amazingly powerful, when I read successful stories for the men this seems to be a recurring theme, and I could be way off but when my wife and I first met she made the running (not that I was a great catch!) but what lady wants to be with an easy option, does n't everyone want to be proud of what they have and if it's easy is not worth it.
When we have the bomb dropped prior to this we still believe we're a great catch, the bomb destroys us and wakes us up to reality we are not 'God' and we go into panic mode, crying, begging this is natural emotion but maybe our WAW's need to see us again as worth the effort not a messy heap!
take care charlie
Me 39 W 39 D8 S5 Married 13yrs Together 20years EA June 06 Ilyninlwy Jan 07 Seperated Jan 07
