It's a different look at desire and another aspect of dealing with it. It comes from a completely different point of view. You seem to think that people are asking you to deny your desire. It's how you cling to your desire thats causing your frustrations. It's not that you have the desires it's that you cling so hard to the fact that they are unfulfilled by your wife.
You cling to the past she swallowed your load 20 years ago so why not now? Why can't things be like they were? Because thats the past if you haven't changed in those 20 years maybe thats part of the problem.
I totally sympathize with how you feel but I find your constant filling up nearly everyones threads with your stuff incredibly dull and frustrating to have to read other peoples stories just get thread jacked.
Your want your wife to desire you and blow you we get it.
What are you going to do about it?
I dare you to stop playing the victim and come up with a plan.
