I'm sorry your special day went like that. I wish it would've been better for you, and I think I know what you were feeling about wanting to be celebrated without having to be the initiator. It sounds like your H is not the type to do stuff like that, and yes, some guys are like that.... BUT they can learn, although it is partly our job to teach them how we want/need to be treated. I know that isn't as attractive as not having to ask for what we want.
I want to say that I think it would be good to teach the kids how YOU should be treated as well. I doubt your H realizes what might be happening. If he did, hopefully he would want to be more proactive. I look at my H's parents and see that as well-intentioned as they were they didn't teach their boys to treat their Mom with the level of love and respect they could have, and I've no doubt it has a lot to do with how ill-equipped my H has been as a spouse. I think much of it goes back to how poor we can be at putting ourselves first sometimes. Though I'm not a parent yet, I believe it teaches kids healthy self-esteem and boundaries when we do.
More hugs, care. I vote for letting your H celebrate your birthday with the kids this weekend. Have a great Friday, and happy belated birthday again.
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
