random thoughts....and my blog....I wish I didn't feel like throwing up all the time. My emotions are still so raw and so close to the edge. Stupid things make me tear up or cry. When will this end???????
10:52 AM - and lyrics...... Current mood: disappointed Category: Blogging
It's funny. I've been thinking about so many things. So many emotions going through my mind. Every second it seems to change. Makes it hard to feel "normal"....
I have anger, sadness and I've lost hope & faith in someone. I never thought that would happen. I guess we're human. We're not supposed to put our faith in others, but damn it I did. And I feel foolish for that. I believed.
I forgot -- I wanted to add this too. It's funny. One day I was in church during worship service and had this vision. It was like a dream, but I was wide awake, singing. (possibly scared folks nearby but...)
So - in this vision, I was standing, worshipping. And he walks up behind me, puts his hand on my shoulder and says "sorry it took me so long to get here"......made me cry and still does. WHY do I get a vision like that......how do you continue to hold out hope when you're told there's nothing left there? The love that needs to be there, isn't? How do you hold out hope after something like that?
Anyhow - moreKelly Clarkson.....Sober.
And I don't know This could break my heart or save me Nothing's real Until you let go completely So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving So here I go with all my fears weighing on me
Three months and I'm still sober Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers But I know it's never really over
And I don't know I could crash and burn but maybe At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right No comparing, second guessing, no not this time
Three months and I'm still breathing Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know It's never really over, no
Wake up
Three months and I'm still standing here Three months and I'm getting better yeah Three months and I still am
Three months and it's still harder now Three months I've been living here without you now Three months yeah, three months
Three months and I'm still breathing Three months and I still remember it Three months and I wake up
Three months and I'm still sober Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
