Am I seperated? Looking for support/advice...

[Heimlich]

I think I have given him all the space someone could possibly give while still living together.

Keep doing it.

Remember what OT posted on my thread:

The time to have an R talk is when the WAS chooses to work on the M and VERY CLEARLY communicates that choice to you, independently, without prompting.

Your H knows how you feel. When you bring up those feelings, you confront him with the fact that he doesn't feel that way about you. This was the hardest thing for me to accept, emotionally. In my head, yes, I knew she wasn't in love me. However, once I realized how much I had done, I started talking to her about me and how I had changed. It just doesn't work.

The DBing stuff is all guidelines and you've got to feel your way. Maybe another week or two and the time will feel right for you to gently broach the status of your R at that time. However, don't think the time is now. It seems like he poked his head up a bit by offering to cook you something. Take it as a baby step. Sort of like trying to feed a wild animal out of your hand. Sudden movements or trying to grab them will make them bolt. Keep steady, hold the food out in the palm of your hand, speak in a calm voice and eventually they may get close enough for you to pet.

It sounds like you've got a lot of friends to do things with. Keep up your life and show positive changes. He'll eventually notice. Of course, also expect the "your changes are manipulative" which you've gotten with the clean house effort, but just keep doing it. As everyone keeps saying, you'll eventually be a better person and ready for a great R in the future or you'll be a better person and in a great R with your H.

Of course, there's the whole detached and done mental state, but it doesn't sound like you're close to there yet.

BD