Trying to set those goals!

[Dom R]

I don't know that I feel 'right' about bringing up volunteering. Plus, he is never going to miss me if I am always around. I will consider if he asks, but I am not going to throw myself at him. Not to mention, what if he recants on that? Do I really need MORE rejection? I think not.

If you're afraid of rejection and failure, you may as well just file for divorce now :P Standing for your marriage, is not for cowards. Or for someone who isnt willing to get hurt.
(Not that divorce doesnt hurt TOO. )


as far as him "not missing you" mode... there's a fine line between missing you, and forgetting you.
Unless you want to go the full-on dark mode for a few months, you might be well off doing positive, interesting things with him, OCCASIONALLY.
If he's not going to be dating you, then you need something else to avoid being "out of sight, out of mind". volunteering might be the best positive thing to do together.
It's something you both enjoy, and it shows you as being a person who is strong enough to help others.
Time spent together that puts you in a positive light. sounds really good to me.


If you want to minimize chance of rejection, then as i said.. timing is important. Wait until he's back in "get into your pants" mode (or at least acting friendly towards you) then gently remind him that HE made the offer of doing volunte0ering directly, and ask him what he had in mind.

Smile sweetly at him, and ask,
"So, when you said [last week?] we might do volunteering together; what kind of volunteer work did you have in mind?"

If he likes volunteering in hospitals, wearing a "naughty nurse" outfit while you ask him, might help....




PS: asking him who he went out with, wont get you anywhere. Ask about how the trip was, if the place was any good, etc, .. just have a nice conversation in general about it, if you want.
If he wants to be decent about it and say who he went with, he will bring it up. if he doesnt, he wont.