Am I seperated? Looking for support/advice...

[dlt1]

Hi Savingus,
Let me throw a couple pennies at you regarding R talks. Stop.
I believe anytime you talk about R atthis point, it enables H to think about what he does not like. Leave him to his thoughts for now. The small talk, dinners, the good/nice things need to continue. As you progress, H should start seeing more that he likes. When you put the R in front of him, it reminds him of what he does not like. Think of it like this, right now you are not really going to be doing anything to fix your M. Right now you are working towards a point when you can begin working on your M. Do you need to work on the com probs that got you here? Yes, absolutely, but not right now. Right now you need to feel good about making yourself happy. If H making you a steak does that, then reaffirm him, without over doing it.
Focus on giving him space.
I hope this helps.
On another note, I had to have a heart to heart with my BF to let him know I did not want to hear blame or finger pointing about my W. He defended himself for a bit, but finally understood that I wanted my M nomattwer what, and pointing at past things and all that had no positive effect on the sitch. Friends seem to want us to be happy now, not really thinking about our future happiness. I am sure my W's friends are supporting her, most of whom are new friends and never met me. But the faster she gets through this, the better THEY will feel about her.