How do you resist contacting the OP?

[Ophelia]

For those unfamiliar with my sitch, my H moved out last Oct, then told me (ever so casually in an email) at the end of Jan that he'd started seeing someone new, (which he didn't consider to an A of course, because we were no longer living under the same roof when he started seeing her, which I suspect was roughly 1 month after he'd moved out).

Long story short, over the last couple of days, I've finally managed to put all the pieces together and figure out exactly who OW is. She's got a 3 year old kid. She and her H split up when the child was 3 months old. She's the daughter of one of my MIL's friends. H obviously went to her for support right around the time he left me, because she'd been through the same thing. Several months later, he's referring to her son as his stepson on his myspace page.

Anyway, now that I know who she is, I also know how to contact her, and ever since I found this info out, I've spent just about every waking moment resisting the urge to contact her. I've toyed with what I'd say. I'd definitely start with, "You don't know me, but you're dating my H." I'd then ask her to explain to me how her own M ended. Who left who. How hard it was, and how anyone can be so selfish as to rob their newborn child of his family. I'd finish up by telling her how disgusted I am that she poisoned what was left of my M by encouraging H when he dropped me cold.

Now, I know that would be a stupid thing to do, so I haven't done it, but I just can't get the thought out of my head. I just really feel like I need her to know my side. I need her to know that I'm not doing fine and that I'm not "over him" or "moved on". I want her to feel even a little bit bad or guilty for sleeping with my H. I feel like I need to be heard, and I can't let go of that feeling.

How do the rest of you deal with it when you feel the urge to contact the OP? It's driving me crazy and really getting me down, (not to mention incredibly angry) and I don't know how to let it go!!