I have some of the same issues in my marriage as you seem to have.
My wife almost never initiates sex. It just isn't something that she desires. She would much rather go shopping than to have sex (with me anyway). . . it sucks but there it is.
I'm trying to come up with an analogy . . . I don't really like peas. They don't do a thing for me. Eating them doesn't make me sick but I would never seek them out own my own free will. Infact, I would be perfectly happy if I never ate them again. If my wife puts them on my plate then I will eat them. She cooked them and she gets some satisfaction when I enjoy a meal she cooks (I'm the cook 99.9% of the time). I think my wife sees sex as I see eating peas. She will do it if I show an interest and prusue her, but I know that if she had her druthers she would rather be at the mall.
I wish someone would have told me this before I married.
