#2, I ask her for BJ's and she does them willingly. I will then feel guilty for her having to do them, and she will build up her resentment because willingness will ALWAYS cause resentment in the long run.

UTTER BOLLOCKS

Why would you feel guilty - why?

And why would willingness cause resentment? If someone is graciously giving a gift there is NO reason for them to be resentful. I think there is a lot of projection going on here Cemar. YOU are the one who feels resentful when you do something for her for 'free'.

If you would just for one second climb out of your centre of the universe chair you might stand a chance. Not until that second have you any hope whatsoever.

Fran

if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs
Erica Jong