You are exactly right on the rock and a hard place. Look at the BJ example. Three possible outcomes can happen. Outcome #1, I get no BJ's, the result is a GREATLY dimminished relationship with plenty of resentment. Outcome #2, I ask her for BJ's and she does them willingly. I will then feel guilty for her having to do them, and she will build up her resentment because willingness will ALWAYS cause resentment in the long run. Outcome #3, she starts doing them (without me asking) because she WANTS to do them for me, she ENJOYS doing them to me. This outcome builds TONS of positive points in both love banks.
Seems to me that only outcome 3 will help the marriage.
But beyond that, what kind of person would withhold incredible pleasure from their spouse?
