Desire vs. Willingness and the Love Languages

[Heywyre]

Ok Cemar - you are in the sex mode 24/7 but consider this ...

Your W (and lots of other spouses, including my H), on the other hand are NOT in the sex mode 24/7. As a matter of fact, they don't even think about it. To them it's something they have to plan for, like going on a trip. It doesn't even enter their minds when they go to bed, it's just another part of their day. My H for instance, doesn't even think about sex or anything to do with intimacy unless I bring up the subject and we actually talk about it (which usually goes no where anyway, but that's another whole thread)

So, if this is something they NEVER think about, can you really expect that they would spontaneously feel like having sex. It's not that they don't want to, they just don't think about it and need to be more consciously aware of it before they can turn themselves on to the thought (and action)