Peicing hurts like hell and is harder than...

[*KS*Chick*]

Checking in LoginName....how're you doing??

[LoginName]

Hi, UA, aka KS Chick.
I'm doing alright. How about you. I've lost track of your sitch. I don't have the time to read and post that I used to, or that I needed to, I guess.

What's the name of your current post/thread so I can catch up. Or, just give me the facts, ma'am.

Life is fun, ain't it.

Eeeek, how was court? Is that for real?

And, what does KS stand for in your name?

Thanks for checking in.

[*KS*Chick*]

I haven't been updating as there really isn't much to update. We are divorced. Court was very real. However, his plan is to move forward with the divorce (check), move back home 1 September and if we're "good" in a year, get remarried on our anniversary.........

KS - Kansas

I'm a simple girl LOL

[LoginName]

I've read what you've said about it, I think on my thread about what love is. I'll check it out.

thanks.

[LoginName]

KS Chick,
I'm very sorry to hear it come to divorce. His plans seem a little strange to me (divorce, move back in a few months later, see how it goes, remarry) but it could be good (could be fun). I don't know why he needed the actual divorce. The rest could have been done without the D.

I hope you are in a good place, as happy as can be, and still GALing and PMAing. I hope the future is bright for you.

If you ever want to discuss anything, just drop me a note. I think you have a big support team already, but I'm here if you want me.

thanks for checking on me.

[peter2DB]

LIN

Been reflecting on your comments on patience. Right now I feel it's all I've got. It means doing and being a lot of things I don't feel comfortable with. For instance I've always been keen on working out things logically in conversation, teasing out ideas - so was my W during our good years. Now, however, she says that was lacking in the 'passion' she craves, and we can never get a conversation past 5 minutes without her getting angry. So I've had to abandon my practice of a lifetime where such conversations are concerned. There are many more examples.

So why do I continue? Because something inside me tells me the time is not right to call a halt. She has had a R with another guy, (supposedly over - so that's all right, eh?? ) and yet she is telling me to go. Were the situation to be reversed, I would be the target of opprobrium from all and sundry.

Mainly, as you commented upon on my thread, I'm doing it for the kids, or at least for my R with them. And I'm still hoping, yes, I can't deny it. And being patient.

When my patience runs out, I'll send up a flare.

[LoginName]

Minor problem today (sounds funny to call it minor, but compared to the whole sitch, it really is). Today, my wife, daughter, and m-i-l are going to visit the town they used to live in. My m-i-l wants to go there because she still has friends there and fond memories of the place. This is where my W lived when she was in her first year of H.S., this is where she met and fell in love with the OG.

I am a little worried that my W will feel such nostalgia and longing for the happiness of those times (as oppossed to the problems of today) that she will re-contact the OM, and maybe the A will reignite.

Of course, there is little I can do to prevent that. I think the actions I could take now could only make it worse. I plan on staying quiet and try not to let my mind think too much on it.

Looking at the worst I could imagine happening, I can survive it - although it'll hurt like hell.

I wonder if she worries at all about me meeting someone else and moving on - or just moving on?

Wish me luck.

[LoginName]

a little journaling to help get my head clear so I can get some work done...

This situation is so confusing. My W was here last week, and I took her on a date. It was very nice, or as nice as our sitch allows. She called me yesterday, before the kids were up, to talk just to me (I was uncharacteristically still asleep, and probably not the most interesting conversationalist). So there are many little positives. But, there is very little movement. It seems so slow. Does she want to work on us or doesn't she? Has she made up her mind or not?

What I'm wondering right now is - is my W telling me she is working on us, has made up her mind, but she can't just come out and say it. By keeping my distance, assuming that nothing is settled, that she hasn't made up her mind, that the divorce papers could come any day, am I being smart or pushing her away?

As always, I come back to the same place. Patience. Balance. I have to balance all of the emotions and actions. Finding the balance point is hard, and it can change daily. Some days I think I need to show my love to her, others I need to back off. Some days she is moving toward me, some away. Some days I am moving toward her, some days I'm moving away.

[*KS*Chick*]

How's it going?

[LoginName]

what a coincidence KS Chick, I was just checking in. I was reading some other peoples posts. I admit, I don't think I could stand up to the situations some people are in. I should look at the success stories more to cheer myself up.

How are you doing? In a way, we may be in the same boat. My wife hasn't filed for D, but we are separated by 3 states and act like we're divorced in many ways. (I'm not dating though :-) )

I don't know how it's going. When should I push? How do I push over the phone? I'm in limbo, trying to be patient.

Is that anything like you feel? What's the name of your current thread and I'll check it out. You post so much, it's hard to find your thread sometimes.

Thanks A LOT for checking in on my. I really, really hope you're doing well.