Frustrated and More Saddened #3

[stewart10]

Hey WAW:

Thanks for checking in. I must have caught what you had yesterday because I am pretty down today. Just reviewing my situation and it feels like I am not getting anywhere. Feels like I am stuck in a rut with no movement one way or the other. Just making me wonder how long this is going to last. All my friends and her family-my family does not know the issues we are having- are surprised I have let it last this long. And our anniversary is coming up on Monday, and she has not mentioned anything about it. Unfortunately I am stuck at work today so there is not much I can do to take my mind off situation. Work definitely does not do it. Tonight I think I might go golfing or something like that.

There have been some small positives. She has been home every night since Monday. She has been a bit less averse to inadvertant touching. The past few days she has even moved over in the bed to be closer to me (or so I would like to think). Big change from when you could fit an Abrams Tank between us in our little bed. She doesn't recoil like she used to if I roll over and our legs wind up touching.

I am going to write my anniversary letter to her tonight and put it in our box. The box has a picture frame top and she had put her favorite pictures from our wedding in them. It is engraved with our names and the date of our wedding. It is kind of depressing. I was looking at it last night. Reminds me of how far we have fallen. Having a hard time keeping a PMA today. I have to keep this letter I write positive. Might need to do a couple of drafts to make sure I get it right, even though I don't expect her to read it anytime soon.

Any exciting GAL'ing this weekend?

Unfortunately I don't have anything exciting planned. I was kind of hoping she would come up with something to do for our anniversary. She has not even mentioned it since a few weeks ago and that was only to get out of going to a barbecue at my uncle's house. What do you think I should do? Mention it? Ask her what she wants to do for it? Or just go along and not mention it either? My expectations are in the basement right now because I don't want to deal with the disappointment. I guess I'd better go out tonight and get her something small and something a bit nicer so I can be prepared. It will be interesting to see if she gets me anything. I hadn't even thought about that until right now. I wonder what she is going to do for it.