Making the Move

[care]

Thanks F21. The thoughts of OW are thankfully becoming less intrusive. I am not sure if they will resurface as hockey season starts and I will see her on a regular basis again. Either way, I believe that in time, the 'hauntings' will diminish.

Just venting.... When I was a kid I would count down the days to my birthday, making sure everyone knew when it was (and usually what I wanted for a present). So I don't do that anymore but I still make a big deal out of birthdays, even for my H and my kids. It is their day. They get to pick the menu for the day, I bake a cake, singing, presents, parties the whole bit.
Two years ago I made my own cake and was upset that H stayed at work until late and H didn't bother with a present. Last year, I was so distraught, I asked H not to say anything to the kids as I was in no mood to celebrate as the bomb had just gone off. So I went to the spa, saw a movie by myself, and then went to my brother/SIL for dinner. A very nice day even though I was crushed then because H wanted out.

Fast forward to yesterday, I turned 41. I leave for work before anyone else is awake. H doesn't call all day. The boys had a football scrimmage so I leave work and get them to that. While H does extend a birthday wish and gave me some workout stuff (unwrapped,left on counter), the boys never knew it was my birthday. D6 made me a card and after the kids were in bed, I asked H how D6 knew it was my birthday. He said that he had told the kids.

So part of me is wondering why tell them if you didn't do anything to celebrate. H asked why I hadn't gotten a cake. Ugh. I just said politely that I will not make a cake again for my own birthday and left it at that. H then said that he'd buy a cake over the weekend if I was mad about not having one. I didn't say anything. It isn't the cake I care about. It just would have been nice to have been celebrated for a day. I had thought that with all of the positive things happening that H would have done something.
Damn expectations.

and I know, I could have told my kids and had a celebration with them. I don't know if it was some sort of test for H to see what he'd do.