Major set back, W computer was probably on stand-by or something. When I went into the bedroom to change my clothes I noticed it and didnt bother to shut it down. W came home and went into the bedroom and saw this. W asked if D messed with her computer and I said no. So W asked if I did messed with her computer and I said no. I elaborated that I dont have a reason to touch it but I did noticed it was on. W was getting mad so I said it would be best if I kept my work clothes on until W comes home so I can change.
w said she will be out of our place soon and that she hated me so much. W said she wished I was dead and if she had the chance to kill me she would. W said she cant stand being around me. W said that my therapist are feeding me BS and I told her they dont tell me what to do. All they do now is listen to what I have to say. W said that her quietness and humbleness that I am seeing isnt what is going on inside her. W said I dont have a clue of what she is doing or about to do. W said she will see that we are D. I told her what good will that do when the only person who will be affected is D.
W didnt liked my answer and wanted to hit me. I sat calm on the couch and said why are we arguing to try to diffuse the situation. W said I walked away already(not intentionally - job relo) and when W and D came to me in December she had no intentions of reconsidering the M. I told her that I wanted out but since I dont think it would be right. W said its too late for all of this.
Immediately I begin to feel down as if I am not doing anything to make a difference. I said to myself I really need to get out of here and be by myself. The only person that is making me have some patience is D. I feel so sorry for her since I had experience of D'ed parents and its not a good relationship.
W is still planning on moving out in September and still has the intentions of D'ing. W said she will take me for all I have and will ensure that I suffer. All this after we were trying to do things right for D in order to assist with her speech difficulty. I feel like going to another state to work and live and to hell with all this. I am losing hope as the past 2 weeks have been much better than anything else.
My positive attitude is now turning into a negative one.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
Oh! I am so sorry she was so cruel!!!!! But you know this is part of journey (her anger) that you must go through evn thoguh difficult as it may be. You ar very still in the beginning stages. I remember when my H was veyr angry all the time. I was at one point scared he would come in in the middle of the night and kill me to get me out of his life for good.
Please do not let her words bring you down. You know you have accomplished a lot if not in her ,but within your self. You know you have seen her little baby steps so dont let her fool. Remmber believe NOTHING of what they say!!
You will be in my prayers. You have helped me and others so much. We love you!
Take some deep breaths and just keep on putting one foot in front of the other. Get a life, and find things to do without her. To most women, nothing is more attractive then a man whose got it together, and isn't being wimpy and begging. Show her what she will be loosing, by focusing your attention on your kiddo. Invite the wife along, but go to the zoo, go to the movies. Have you worked out a custody agreement yet? Maybe give her a taste of what it would be like not having her child around for a week at a time.
All of those are good pointers from lookin4light!take your girls & DONT ask her to go, make it just daddy tiem so you can distract yourself. Kids can really cheer a parent up ya know.
Thanks chicki and lookin4light, we havent drafted up any custody agreements. This morning I deliberately stayed in bed (couch) since I knew W had to be up early and I had to take D to daycare. So, I said if I got up and dont awake D and W then she would be mad. W came and awake me and told me to get up so I can take a shower and take D to daycare. It felt so good for her to care a tiny bit about my getting to work ontime.
Before this, I wanted to invite W to dinner tonight along with D and myself. Now I feel that I should not. Lastnight W did mentioned that what is happening doesnt have anything to do with EA. W didnt even called EA at all and again left the bedroom door opened.
I am ready to go to my Chicago trip without W and D and give her that entire weekend to be alone. I have decided to go hang out tonight and a coworker of mine will join since he has to be at work for midnight.
W did emailed me this morning about some bills she had to pay but still didnt say anything about getting her own apt. I will not even bring up that subject.
Tomorrow, W has a class orientation session and I will record my PMP class session so I can take D with me to go do some grocery shopping. I do need some casual shirts and will take D with me to go get some.
Depending on how the weather is then I will plan some activities with D.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
Another topic, I had a lunch interview with a recruiter and we discussed job role, client, benefits, and compensation. The contracting company wants to offer me 6 figures if I should go to work with them or at minimum high 90s. This will be okay either way since the increment is substantial enough that what I am currently making but I am not in a hurry for career change, I was waiting until I complete my PMP certification then look at the job market.
I havent told W about this interview at all. I dont even what her to know what is my next career move since W eyes will look like dollar signs rather than the beautiful brown eyes she has. This is the kind of career move I was anticipating. Recently, most of my collegues have moved on in a similar path and their entire compensation package is very attractive.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
Maybe you should change your DB tactics a little & try going dark as much as you can or distancing yourself more. Try being more mysterious & dont do any envites for a while. I am sure whe will wonder if you have someone new.
A little bit taste of their own medicine is never too bad and it actaully works in my favor ALL the time!
Update, I just got off the cell phone with W. W called and said she got her final book for her classes, school ID, and parking decal. W said it will be a rough semester for her since she will be taking 12 cr hrs and working FT. I said yeah I agree you will be taking a full load and if you need any help the invitation is open. I told her my course load will start in October and each class is only 1 month long so I am required to dedicate 15 hr a week. I said I dont mind going to bed at midnight each night and on weekends I can sleep in a little. W agreed.
We then talked about D and her watching of too much tv. W said D enjoyed her reading story books to her. I told W that I will do my part prior to W coming home and whenever D is ready to go to be W can read her a story so they can spend sometime together.
I didnt expected W to call me and almost at the end of the conversation, she had me LOLing. W asked if I would like to go to the zoo tomorrow and take D. I said I would be glad to go!
This is what I dont understand, why would W call me and tell me about her education if she hates me so much? Why would W even bother? Why would W asked if I join W and D to the zoo? Why would it matter?
Its kinda like her mood is a roller coaster ride, one day its so great that I feel so positive and the other day its like the end of the world.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
Exactly right! She is an emotional mess right now. As Chicki says don't believe anything she says. She will say anything to justify her position and her cruel rants and taunts are part of that. If my H rants, I leave the room. I drew that line sometime ago although I am fully prepared to talk/listen if he is calm.
Congratulations on the job! What a wonderful boost to your PMA. Why should you tell her until you need to? A bit of mystery and suspense won't harm the situation.
