You posted some good thoughts and questions there.
I am someone who has crossed the line of detachment. I am not sure exactly when (2-3 months), it has been a process.
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How is it possible to be committed to saving your R when you're detached? It sounds like pure will, void of all emotion. No one wants to act on emotion, but we surely feel it. When we're detached and stop feeling it, where's the motivation?
At this point for me, if my H decided to work on the M, it would be pure will on my part to decide to work on it too. I would not "feel" like working on the M, but I would do it because I feel it would be the right thing to do. What also would help is that I know that feelings can change over time. Just because I have no feelings for my H right now, doesn't mean I can't develop them again later.
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Or is detachment a strategy we use, or a trick we play on ourselves, so that when/if W/H comes around, we can plug back in to our desire to fix the M?
I know that I used to try to play that trick on myself earlier in my sitch, telling myself that I didn't care when I did. But for me, I am not playing that trick anymore.
I am sad about where my sitch it now, but I actually have felt much better since I have crossed this line. Partly, I think it is because I have taken back some of the power I gave up and partly because I am focused on me instead my H, which is much less frustrating.
