I think it is something we have to choose to do. We have to choose to forgive and trust our S again. My C told me one time that you actually have to wake up every morning for awhile and, even if you are angry about the sitch, etc., you have to remind yourself that you have decided to forgive & trust and that's what you're going to do today. It is a grieving process.

Also, I think a lot of it has to do w/ how our S behave as far as showing us that they are trustworthy.

What also has helped me (I think) is that I know and I believe H knows that if he cheats on me again, he's gone. I will not allow it to happen again. Therefore, he has a big choice to make if the opportunity ever arises for him again. It's out of my hands and I choose to trust that he will make the right decision.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10