i suppose in an ideal relationship, the friend would call a somewhat equal amount of time and ivite you to do things or atleast call during the week and say "hey we are still playing this weekend right" and seem interested. If the spouse initiated part of the time (i'm sure even 1/4 of the time) or atleast flirted and acted as though they were eager for time alone to have sex then there wouldn't be this feeling that the hd feels that they aren't desired.
