Need advice on WAW with OM

[svejk]

My car needed repairs and my W was nice enough to shuttle me to work and back to the dealership after work. So we had dinner together.

She told me that she fears losing me and that she thinks about it everyday. She asked how long I will put up with her confusion about out relationship.

A few weeks ago I would have answered, "I'll wait forever." But this time I said, "I can't tell how long I will wait, because I don't know, but I'm trying right now. I only know that I can't wait forever."

This is actually how I feel, and I'm not sure this was the best answer, but it's certainly better than, "I'll wait forever."

She also asked, "What would you say if I asked to move back in with you tonight?"

I replied, "I would say no, because it's obvious that you aren't ready, and it would not work."

Again, this is better than a few weeks ago when I would have said, "I'll rent the moving truck tomorrow."

I'm not sure what her statements are meant to achieve, but I think she is testing me to see if I'm strong, unlike a few weeks ago when I was so weak. And also to see if she still has me on the hook to come back to no matter what she does.

I still made mistakes at dinner because I got sucked into relationship talk, and instead of just listening I had to put in my two-cents worth also. Sometimes I think it is beneficial to talk about some relationship stuff she brings up, because it seems to put her at ease that I don't show any anger like I used to when difficult subjects came up. My anger used to be a huge problem that was one of the primary reasons that led to her leaving. Now I am totally calm, no matter what we talk about, and she notices.

It's obvious that I need more resolve in showing her nicely that I'm not waiting for her like a puppy dog anymore, so that she will think harder about what she will be losing. I made that mistake for the first few months and I can't keep repeating it.