I know you want answers, the trouble is nobody has any. We all do what works for us by focusing on us and our kids. If you see any kind of positive interaction with your H, note it. Try to see what's working and what isn't. It's hard. It would be a hell of alot easier to walk away. I've only been at this 7 mos. and I swear it's a lifetime. The days of crying your eyes out do get farther between and fewer. Then something will set it all off again. Take heart that Yr's H is coming around. There are others here too.
I wouldn't ask where the love went. If you watch closely you'll see glimpses of it sometimes. They do bury it deep though. I wouldn't ask or talk at all about your R/M. It helps me to think of my H as "Captain Insane-O" (complete with cape and tights). It allows me compassion for his anger and hurts. I just don't feel that my hating him would serve me in any way. After all this is the man I couldn't live without. That man is in there....somewhere.
