Do I want him back?

[forward]

I don't know if I think he will file. My heart says he will not but he has done so many things I never thought he would do. I kind of thought MIL was supportive of our marriage but I am not THAT naive.

I just know that H gets phone calls from them at our house and it just wouldn't entirely surprise me if they help him to file, if that is what he wants. He never talks D with me, and I took some heart in that, but he doesn't talk R with me, either, and, as I mention, seems happy enough.

ILs do call me, too, which is nice. I try to keep conversation on baby and have more or less stopped discussing H.

Today was his 43rd birthday. Must be feelin' fine--seemed perfectly cheerful and happy. SAid not a word about the card from D1. I do not think I will buy him an anniversary card (our 14th anniversary is coming up). And I expect nothing from him for my birthday (which is shortly after our anniversary). Heck, he forgot my birthday when I was pregnant--I can't expect anything from him when he has a girlfriend.

I did not pay much attention to him when he came over--just texted on my phone. He was curious about why I was smiling, though, and I just said "I am texting."

I have been writing in my diary. H used to snoop but I think he stopped. A lot of this tells me he is not invested in me any more.

I continue to consider if I want to continue a R.