I took the girls to get their haircut tonight. The girl that cut their hair is a member at our church and knows my sitch, her son and OW's son were in the same class last year (btw OW teaches 5th grade at the same school). Anyway, she asked me how things were going and I said ok, I was managing. She talked to me about how she was going to request that her son not be in OW's class next year b/c of all this. It just made me so sad b/c all I could think about was my H spending time w her and her son. I don't know if the relationship has progressed that far yet, but I think it will. So, I'm pretty bummed tonight. I can't talk to anyone about how I want to save my marriage b/c none of my friends or family think I should stay with him. I feel tremendous (sp?) guilt b/c of my A, and can't help but think this is why all of this is happening. I also don't understand what's wrong with me. Why do all my relationships end like this? Why have both my husbands left me? I don't want to be divorced again, I don't want to be single. I want my husband, I love him and I want him to love me. I know it's not all about what I want, that's selfish. I wasn't a good wife, maybe I can't be now.
