Now... I do understand CeMar's example... however, for her to even have sex, without CeMar forcing himself on her, indicates some form of willingness.
So. I'm not so sure this is about validation or willingness or desire. Mrs. CeMar is just pissed off... and she isn't seeing CeMar as 'Prince Charming' anymore. She is mirroring back to him, what she sees and feels... and he doesn't like what she is showing him.
Maybe she isn't so much p*ssed off as much as just ignorant of the nature or relative importance of CeMar's desires due to his almost certain lack of adequate communication with her. Maybe she wants to be a "good" wife a la Dr. Laura but she simply doesn't understand, for obvious reasons, all the emotional importance CeMar is assigning to the act of giving a blow-job. We all have our blind spots and they're almost always exactly in alignment with our areas of relative weakness or our partner's areas of relative neediness. CeMar is stuck between a rock and a hard place with his validation needs. Even if he told his wife "It would really make me feel loved if you gave me blow-jobs." and she did it out of the goodness of her heart, eventually it would lose that vibe simply because it would be something easy for her to do and therefore less worthy as a sign of validation. However, if MrsCeMar were to make a gesture of emotional connection that CeMar could accept as such then whatever the gesture was would serve the purpose and sex would become less fraught with fusion issues due to lowered validation seeking. Sexual acts just lend themselves very readily to this type of bonding if both partners are open.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
