That is the tricky thing. She needs it, but thinks she can fix this on her own. She says she knows what a counselor is going to say, and is sick of "getting beat up". Sad thing is, our MC that we saw together was never like that, but, nonetheless, she always felt like she was being attacked. Below is an email she recently sent to me (names blanked out to protect the innocent and the guilty :):
I have had a few days to really reflect on our situation...I was shocked, as you saw, when you said (OM) called...I had told him to stop contacting me and to focus on his relationship with his wife...After you conatcted her last week, I told him it was not worth the frustartion and problems caused by him calling me. As you see by my phone records, i am not the one initiating this...I volunteered the fact that he still called me and got another phone. I told him last week, a couple days prior to his call here, to stop contacting me...causing more trouble for both of us. The call to the house was actually for you...I called him to ask why he called me, especially at home after I told him to stop...he said the call was not for me..it was for you but he decided to not be stupid and add fuel to his fire. He was pissed about you conatcing his wife and telling her what you have found out and the fact that I told him to stop. I think I have gotten my point across and will not talk to him anymore. I am in the process of bettering myself, forgiving myself and trying to be a better person...better person, better mom and better wife if given the opportunity. I screwed up, made bad choices but have learned the hard way and will never put myself in that situation again. I think I had alot of insecurities and attention fulfilled those issues but I have grown up and am very secure with who I am and what I have done and how I am different. I have accepted a job at a school...actaully replacing a teacher (our daughter's pre-k teacher) I will be surrounded by christian women and it will be a great starting place for me...from what i hear, the first years of teaching in a school district are brutal...7am-7pm just trying to figure it out. I plan on teaching and training on Mondays and Fridays and school tues, wed, and thurs...I have a deal to train at a gym if I allow a girl to take bootcamp for free...which she has done for the past 6weeks, I have 3 cleints that want to continue with me so it works out...Free bootcamp for this girl and free access to gym for training during lunch and weekends. I am not sure where you are concerning us...I had the feeling over the past few months that if you were checked out like you said,so why should I do what you want me to do and stop talking to OM...I am stepping down from that stubborn position and just going to focus on trying to be the person I want to be and moving forward. I can be just like mom...stubborn and going to prove a point but i am not going to do that anymore...I have nothing to hide and I am not going to go down that road again. I am 36 years old and the games are over. We need to decide what is going to happen because its going to be difficult for the kids without all the trip and training distractions going on. We both need a plan, whether its together or seperate. I hope it is together but I am not stupid and understand if its not. I spent the week cleaning out rooms/closets and many memories came up...made me sad that we are in the stuation we are in. We used to have so much fun. Lets talk when you get back....we ALL need a plan
