You've pushed me out of my recent, mostly-lurking mode...
I'm interested in hearing about what you think is going on with you. Sounds like you've had some rough patches lately, esp with your son (which is heartbreaking), which may have brought up an unusually strong dose of genuine anger and frustration with your W, and with the fact that you don't feel like things appear to be moving forward much at all.
I guess I see that differently...i continue to see movement forward in your communication with your W, and real potential in the terms of your R. Even the exchange below
Quote:
W: Ok. C said to talk about it when you seem hostile, so I am telling you I'm feeling that guy. Don't get mad. (Getting louder, more intense herself.) Nomo (with a slight chuckle): Well, ok. That's fine. And now you're getting hostile. I was just wondering what you heard in that first conversation that made you feel I was being hostile. W: Just by how short you were and it was your tone. Nomo: Ok. Thanks. I'll talk to you later.
Not anywhere close to the way I would have preferred to handle it, but it is what it is. She could feel hostility, and there was some coldness there.
was an honest exchange. You acknowledged your feelings, and W actually followed through with something C suggested she do in order to validate her own feelings...
You have a right to feel really angry about what's going on (to you and especially to your kids). I'd question your judgment if you didn't have these feelings. Now, I may be the last person to offer advice on this (i may be the biggest Sucker (with a capital S) in the world for hanging in my sitch for such a looong time), but I don't want you to confuse needing to take a timeout and slowly recharge your batteries, with the need to throw in the towel.
I still feel like the fact that the fact that you and your W are both clearly very bright and accomplished complicates this whole process...I had a counselor once who worked extensively with academics (not unlike attorneys) and who said they were often incredibly hard to work with because of how much they thought about and intellectualized things... ring any bells?
(N.B. Just as a random thought, I'm guessing you are not a baseline player (not a 'pusher', at least not in tennis I'm betting you're a serve and volley kind of guy...
I'm starting to ramble, so i'll close. I'll just put one more thing out there as food for thought... I've seen lots of LBS (esp guys it seems) mention how they don't believe that their WAS will ever meet their needs, and that they know there's 'someone' out there for them...maybe there is, but i don't think it's as straight forward as that. When we have a history, and esp. a family, with someone, it's an every day choice for us to make that decision/that willingness to compromise (I think i recall Slowly writing a great post to you on that...)
I'm betting you're a serve and volley kind of guy... 
