Maybe its not so much the validation from sex but the de-validation from the real or perceived rejection that messes people up.
Exactly! No matter how we may try to differentiate, if we have sex with someone, we will feel some level of connection, otherwise we are a robot. So when rejected, we can not help but feel hurt. True differentiation is only theory, IMO. Sort of like calculus, you can try to approach the limit of differentiation but never actually reach it.
