That's where we left it, no control, no written agreement and no intention to push for one. I'll just take her at face value that she's not interested in dating right now. It'd almost be a relief to know that she was seing OM still. Then there would be an external reason for her not working on the M. Over the last two months, and even before, I've felt at fault a lot -- even though I know I'm not being totally fair to myself in thinking that way.
Maybe it's just pride, but I really hate the idea of her being with him. One, yes, it would hurt. Two, it's hard for me to see how starting a relationship with a cheater is going to be good for her and, by extension, my girls. Anyway, you're right, it doesn't bear thinking on because it's her decision to make. It's not my girls meeting someone my W is dating in the future, it's the thought of them meeting HIM that bugs the hell out of me.
Your comments on the sex issue have been enlightening. We were each other's firsts, so I don't think we ever did a good job of setting those boundaries over the years. Even so, I think the disconnect in sex was as basic as I needed sex to feel emotionally connected to her and she needed me to do things around the house to feel emotionally connected to me to have sex. There were times when we got that mix pretty ok.
Regardless, I'll either be better with her or with someone else in the future.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
