Unless you get something that is legally binding, let go of controlling whether or not the kids meet OM.
Start looking around. The kids ALWAYS meet the OP and almost always without the LBSs knowledge or consent once things progress to sep, regardless of promises not to introduce them, promises to put the kids first, promises to let you know, and so on.
Given a certain amount of time, I know of ZERO exceptions. I also know of ZERO exceptions of the LBS not thinking that their case will be an exception.
It is clear that W is not through with OM. Don't deceive yourself about that. He is still a possibility for her. If she is not currently involved with him, she may be in the future.
So, either get your OM restriction in writing or forget it. My recommendation is to forget it. You cannot control who your W dates and/or who she introduces to the children.
Your W is most likely lying when she says she is not interested in dating or finding another R, not maliciously, but just to try to make things easier on you.
So, to sum up: assume your W is looking forward to dating and a new R, assume W may well date (or is dating) OM, assume that your kids will meet whoever W dates sooner rather than later, and accept all of that. The worst thing that can happen is that you will be pleasantly surprised. But, fighting any of it will not get you anywhere.
As for your other thread -- don't make W's pain about the pressured sex about you. If it felt very bad to her, it probably had nothing to do with you. Rather, her actions in putting herself in a victim role and not enforcing her own sexual boundaries probably made HER FEEL like she did at some point when she truly was a victim. The same feelings evoked, through different circumstances.
This is not to minimize your own responsibility -- of course you shouldn't pressure anyone into sex who is not a fully willing participant -- that isn't good for anyone, but you know that. And, with you, W had a real choice. She WAS NOT in fact a victim without choices, even if I am right and she experiences similar feelings.
