This is the exact same example I used (tennis) a while ago. I think this is very clear-- validation or no validation, when you're talking about fcuking, you have to have someone to play with.
Kind of. I don't even know if I expressed myself right. It's less that you have to have someone to play with then that you have to WANT to play and you have to translate that desire into action. The fact that you will therefore have to find a partner follows from the desire to play. After about the fifth or sixth time I had sex with NG, I was sitting in his bed and I suddenly had the thought "I'm beautiful." and it had nothing to do with any validation I was getting from NG. He never said anything like that and I don't even believe that he thinks that. It was just me being self-validating because I wanted something ( great sex) and I kept plugging away until I got it. I was proud of myself in a way or a context that made me feel "beautiful." So, I guess what I'm really saying is that self-validation comes from self-esteem and true self-esteem only comes from true or righteous action in the direction of your values, wants, desires or preferences. I don't think that you can simply "think" yourself "beautiful."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
