Lessons from a former WAS

[thegoodfight]

L4L,

I understand your fear, and all I can say from experience is if you don't commit yourself completely to making it better, regardless of the outcome then you won't succeed in the relationship you are in.

Interesting enough you are here and I am guessing still with your husband. I don't know the story, it isn't that I am not interested but since I don't know it; let me write this, doesn't matter what happened between you. If you want the R. with the spouse, for whatever reason then you must commit to it. Sitting on the fence for an extended period of time will just make things seem worse.

My W. sat on the fence for months, and so did I earlier this year, one or two not so good days just make everything seem worse. It takes time to heal, forgive, and trust again. I believe if you give it enough time and there was love between you before you can have it again. Maybe better! Funny thing is we hardly ever fought, we have a beautiful S. not too many financial issues, neither of us drink excessively or do drugs. We have never had any physical or emotinal violence. and even now when we are around our parents that can't believe anything is wrong.

Courage is not the absence of fear, courage is doing something in spite of being fearful.

I fear everyday this is all for naught, but I continue on because I know the only way I really lose through this entire ordeal is if I don't give it everything I have. If she ends up with someone else, she does, regardless of the outcome, I tried.