WAW1978's adventures in DB'ing -3

[waw1978]

Thank you all for your support. The day is getting better. I am not nearly as miserable as I was earlier.

GD

I have noticed some changes. He seems to be trying to give me my space. He doesn't prod as to where I have been or what I have been doing, nearly as much as he used to. He also fully admits that he did not treat me very well. But these are words, and I am just looking at actions right now. He did have a huge backslide this past weekend. I went out with my cousin and he kept questioning where we were, when were we there blah blah blah...then I find out he went to her house and talked to her husband to confirm all of this...BIG HUGE MISTAKE...I was with her and told him all the info he wanted and still he checks up on me like I am untrustworthy...not the way to make in roads with WAS.

I do think I could love him again in time. It took years of his abuse for me to get the strength to leave after repeatedly asking to MC and being so depressed. I have no idea how long it will take to be honest. Its been about 2 months since this separation began and I am nowhere near ready for anything more than trying to build a friendship with him. In all reality I have never been one to hold a grudge without good reason. I am friendly with every person I ever had a relationship with...no hard feelings on either side. I think I am capable of getting past just about anything, with time of course.

Its that whole 1 step forward 2 steps back thing...seems like we are getting nowhere.

I am still willing to try for now. In my mind I set a deadline of January 1st of next year to see some progress. If we are still sitting here square 1, don't know how I will proceed. But at least I have bench mark in mind to be able to sit down and take stalk of whats transpired in the previous 6 months and decide what to do next.