Madonna/Whore Complex (part 7)

[Heywyre]

Actually Kett, I detached from the emotions of my R a long, long time ago and that is when things did start to turn around in our M. But yesterday I finally got the confirmation from ST that I have felt in my heart all along - that it was H that was resisting us moving further, not me!! I don't want to throw it in his face, because I know that would just make him withdraw all the more. But it was nice to hear that validation that I wasn't going insane. I know I have issues too, but I am and have been dealing with them as we go along with path. H, on the other hand, refuses to dig deeper and just accepts the fact that "sometimes there just isn't an answer"

Interesting thing happened yesterday when we were talking about our R after the session and he got into one of his (many) defensive modes and was pointing fingers (trying to deflect) and I admitted I have issues but that I am trying to work on them. H twists it and says "are you trying to be perfect", to which I replied "no, just a better person". We continued on with him saying he was "content" with who he is and didn't think he needed to change for anyone (another saying I have heard oodles of times). I told him I wasn't looking to change him, but that we could all learn to be better people. He disagreed and said that was only for people that were unsatisfied with their life etc.

Later that evening, in a continuation of our "talk", he casually mentioned about being "more mellow" as he got older and not being so "rude and blunt" with people. I knew that was my perfect opportunity to jump in. I encouraged him to talk about that and I gently threw in the odd "so, you feel you are a better person for that" and "it's just the right thing to do" I ended with "so everyone has room to improve and can "change" and be a better person" to which he affirmed

And before my eyes, he had fallen completely into the trap and he knew it and admitted that "perhaps" I was right and we could all use a little improvement.