Sex and Validation

[MJontheMend]

Sex without the need for validation is the best because you KNOW that you are desirable, f*ckable, sexy, wonderfully sexual etc. before the sex even begins and so does your partner. However, I do believe that it can be difficult to achieve a state of being highly sexually self-validating in a complete vacuum simply because you can't really have sex in a vacuum. It's sort of like trying to become self-validating about your tennis game just hitting the ball against a wall. You have to at least find somebody to play with even if you aren't looking to them for validation. However, the validation will come as your confidence and your game improves. I think you know that you are mostly self-validating if you can have a cr*ppy game or even a whole string of cr*ppy games and still remain confident of your value as a tennis partner or player. In fact, if you were super-highly self-validating you would welcome the occasional cr*p game or critical comment from your partner because you might gain knowledge that would improve your game in the long run.

The important point I am trying to make is that,IMO, self-validation is a mental state but it is one that requires method or practice maybe only because it is easy to delude yourself one way or the other when self-validating or non-self-validating.